I have to start by saying happy anniversary! Today marks one year since I checked into the hospital. One year! When people ask me if it feels like it's been a year I have to say yes and no.
The memories still seem fresh and raw, but in a way they do seem as if they happened ages ago.
I'm grateful we all made it through OK.
Watching
my children discover how amazing their bodies are has become one of my favorite
things of being a parent. I love watching their delight as they
discover that they are good at drawing and painting, they can do a back flip, and
being excited they’ve grown enough to finally be able to do the monkey bars!
Seeing them learn how to control their bodies as they grow and are able to do
more is very rewarding.
It’s sad that so many people are critical of their body based solely on
looks. I know I’ve been guilty of it. I think we could all benefit from pausing
at these moments we're critical of ourselves and just stop and think about all that
our body does for us. We can learn to appreciate our unique bodies instead.
A few weeks after I
had Hazel (at this point I still had to walk very slowly and use a wheelchair
if the walk was too long) I got out of the shower one day and happened to catch
a glance of myself in the mirror. You know what my first thought was? My body
is amazing! Even my post baby, stretch marked, poochy bellied, saggy body is
amazing. I know, I know… That word (amazing) is overused (three paragraphs in
and I’ve used it four times now ;). Ya, ya you say. We know bodies are amazing,
but I really want you to know that yours is amazing too.
I
think not having control of my body for so long gave me a greater appreciation
for what it HAD done. It grew a baby. That alone is a lot. It survived being in
pain every day, recovery form a pretty intense cesarean, my bowels shutting
down, my uterus ripping open, and being at a point where everyday
things (like showering) were painful. Here I am a year later feeling normal. Normal!
I often reflect about this past year when things were getting worse and worse
and I’m grateful for every normal day I have. I’m still not as strong as I was
pre-pregnancy. Sometimes I try to do things I was able to before and I’m
surprised when I can’t. I just have to work harder to get back to where I was.
Is
my body perfect? No. Have I lost all of the baby weigh? Nope. And I’m OK with
that. If I wasn’t I would do something about it. Exercising while having a baby
that is still nursing through the night just doesn’t fly with me. I know I will
feel strong like I did before. I know I need to love my body so it can love me back. You
should love your body too, because it’s AMAZING... just like you.
Love,
Ella
