My Body

I have to start by saying happy anniversary! Today marks one year since I checked into the hospital. One year! When people ask me if it feels like it's been a year I have to say yes and no. 

The memories still seem fresh and raw, but in a way they do seem as if they happened ages ago. 

I'm grateful we all made it through OK.

         Watching my children discover how amazing their bodies are has become one of my favorite things of being a parent. I love watching their delight as they discover that they are good at drawing and painting, they can do a back flip, and being excited they’ve grown enough to finally be able to do the monkey bars! Seeing them learn how to control their bodies as they grow and are able to do more is very rewarding.

         It’s sad that so many people are critical of their body based solely on looks. I know I’ve been guilty of it. I think we could all benefit from pausing at these moments we're critical of ourselves and just stop and think about all that our body does for us. We can learn to appreciate our unique bodies instead.

A few weeks after I had Hazel (at this point I still had to walk very slowly and use a wheelchair if the walk was too long) I got out of the shower one day and happened to catch a glance of myself in the mirror. You know what my first thought was? My body is amazing! Even my post baby, stretch marked, poochy bellied, saggy body is amazing. I know, I know… That word (amazing) is overused (three paragraphs in and I’ve used it four times now ;). Ya, ya you say. We know bodies are amazing, but I really want you to know that yours is amazing too.

         I think not having control of my body for so long gave me a greater appreciation for what it HAD done. It grew a baby. That alone is a lot. It survived being in pain every day, recovery form a pretty intense cesarean, my bowels shutting down, my uterus ripping open, and being at a point where everyday things (like showering) were painful. Here I am a year later feeling normal. Normal! I often reflect about this past year when things were getting worse and worse and I’m grateful for every normal day I have. I’m still not as strong as I was pre-pregnancy. Sometimes I try to do things I was able to before and I’m surprised when I can’t. I just have to work harder to get back to where I was.

         Is my body perfect? No. Have I lost all of the baby weigh? Nope. And I’m OK with that. If I wasn’t I would do something about it. Exercising while having a baby that is still nursing through the night just doesn’t fly with me. I know I will feel strong like I did before. I know I need to love my body so it can love me back. You should love your body too, because it’s AMAZING... just like you. 

Love,

Ella

9 Months!

Those cheeks! I'm going to miss them one day.

Hazel LOVES to eat. Half of the pictures from the last couple of months are of her eating - partly because I can't hold her and take a picture. She also can't sit up on her own yet. It makes it tricky to snap photos. :)

Her first tooth came in last week (the 9th to be exact)! Funny thing is I didn't even notice it until a couple of days before it popped through. I think she's the youngest (adjusted age) to get a tooth. Ethan was over a year when he got his first one. Ha. It makes sense why she has been chewing on everything lately.

She weighed 13 lbs 14 oz at her 9 month appointment. Her percentiles crack me up. Her weight is about .3 %, her length about .1%, and her head is in the 17%! 

She still does therapy every other week. She has been improving, but she had a setback when we went to Arizona for Thanksgiving. I think it was all of the driving and me not remembering to do her stretches and exercises. It was hard not being at home in our normal routine. It didn't help either that she had her immunizations when we got back. There was no way she was going to let me stretch her for a couple of days after shots. Now she's sick and I had to cancel her therapy appointment for tomorrow. I hope at the next appointment there is some progress.

 

Love,

Ella

Family Pictures 2014

 

In our family pictures last year I was pregnant. Crazy how much change one year brought. 

Love this family of mine. I'm so blessed. :)

6 Months Old & a Blessing!

Hazel was blessed this month by her daddy. It was so neat to feel like everything has come full circle since we started our journey last year. 

There have been so many changes in this little girl since my last post. Hazel isn't the fussy little baby she used to be. For the last couple of months she has been happy! Happy! She used to easily get overstimulated, but now she enjoys things that used to push her over the edge such as walks (for quite a while she hated walks), riding in a stroller, people talking to her, therapy (fine, she doesn't enjoy therapy, but she is able to calm herself down after stretching), music and noise. She loves to hold toys and grab at anything she can.  She is getting closer to sitting up on her own. Yea for progress!

It's been about a year since I started having complications in my pregnancy. Oh what a year can bring. I'm grateful it brought us a precious baby girl. What a miracle she is. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not amazed at the fact that she is here with us - and healthy! I don't pretend to know why Hazel and I (and my family) have been blessed in the ways we have. We all have different paths and all I can do is be grateful and learn from the experiences I've gone through. I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for His many many tender mercies throughout my trials.

Love,
Ella

I Know a Rhino

One of our very favorite family books is I Know a Rhino by Charles Fuge. You can tell it's well loved by the tape down the middle. Avella was beyond excited to have 'lots of animals'  in her bed like the girl in the book. What a little cutie pie.

And The Winner Is...

Congratulations, Krista! You won a massage and lunch with yours truly (that's me, just in case you were wondering)! 

Thank you everyone for visiting me while I was in the hospital. It meant so much to me and helped the days go by (kind of) quickly. You all kept me sane! Look how full that jar is. I feel so loved. :)

I just realized that maybe I haven't explained the jar on the blog... Every time someone would come visit me they got to write their name on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Every other week I would draw a name from everyone that had visited with me in that two week period and that person would win a prize, such as movie tickets and gift cards. This drawing was the Grand Finale drawn from everyone that visited over my entire stay.

Visiting Hazel

I know, I know... She came home months ago and I'm barely posting pictures of the kids first visit with her. Apparently when I promise something asap that means two months later. She's been home almost ten weeks now. She was in the NICU for almost twelve. Crazy to think that she still hasn't been home as long as she was in the NICU. It feels as if she's been home a lot longer. I'm grateful for that. It automatically felt so natural to have her home, of course because it is natural to be with your baby 24/7.

Susan, Hazel's primary care nurse, was ready with the camera as the kids came walking in to see Hazel (Thank you Susan!).  I love their excited expressions!

 This is how you hold babies.

I wish these two pictures were more in focus!

I promise this was the best family picture we got. With six people it's hard to catch everyone looking at the camera at the same time let alone smiling. Hazel was pretty overstimulated by this point. Can you tell?